Keep loosing internet, satellite, and cell signal.. I can only hope this will post and stay.. hehehe
gggrrrr ~ and it is only a small yet consistent rain outside, I can only imagine if it was severe out there now.. how crazy it would be. Very frustrating indeed !
But ya know, if I had not wanted to get on anything today... everything would be running high speed top notch. Go figure ! Right?
To all those in harms way due to the latest storm systems... Thinking of you all.. God Bless !!
yum..... uummmmm ( pleasant sigh*)
Apple Orchard and fresh rain smell. Love it . Helping me relax. Taking away that smell of sickness.
Candles have been my serenity lately .
find myself getting more frustrated as my issues and symptoms get worse. I have caught more bugs on my outings' the other day to grocery store, plus I realized .. after scaring the shit out of myself, and crying... that my driving days now are numbered. Scared myself to death.
I try to stay local when I drive and I wait til I know I can drive.. but the times in between good and bad moments are speeding up.
Remission is not in the headlights currently and as slow as my docs are moving with things.. I feel I might not make it to getting treatments.
Loosing vision, sense of smell, taste, direction, memory, and being able to function... are coming faster and staying longer.. Every bone, muscle, joint, etc in my body hurts so bad...
Cant sleep, cant eat, cant function a lot of the time. My TIA's are also coming more frequent and I worry sometimes a big stroke is not far away.
Not sad anymore,, not scared.. ( only when I drive), just frustrated and angry now. I am quickly loosing control over my life and my daily living ! That pisses me off.
I have come to see how for so many years I took for granted being able to take a shower, being able to hold a book and read or get on computer for a few minutes , being able to walk up the street, and being able to jump in the car and enjoy a drive or an activity !!!
I am working hard to stay away from any small viruses and infections.. I already depend on so many meds a day just to get through.. hate catching stuff if the wind blows past me.. I am almost a shut in now, because I have no choice.. and even that isn't a sure thing. My daughter is out and about everyday and she brings stuff home... so really I am fighting a loosing battle. I just try to stay clean, and keep stuff as clean as possible, and just try to avoid certain things as much as possible. Hate it ~ Just hate it !!!!
I have docs everyday next 2weeks to include more testing. I have Evoked Potential testing, more scans , and more everything.. Its just so much.. the meds, the appointments, the testing ,, hell everything !!! and the fact that very soon possibly I will have to depend on others to help me drive, take meds, do everything...
I can only hope that treatment can start soon.. after all the stuff I have in the next 2 weeks would be super great. The longer it takes, the more I am losing valuable time.
SO much more to share, so much more going on.. but I am going to stop here... I would not wish what I am going through on anyone.. even Obama... (LMAO)
Have a super awesome weekend everyone..
I was going to ramble about other stuff, but I am running out of steam.. I need to get outta here..